Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

Whole Foods tells staff cyberattack at its primary distributor UNFI will affect product availability - TechCrunch

I have a reading level above third grade

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

AI alone cannot solve the productivity puzzle - Financial Times

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

Poor appetite? What that can mean and how to get hungry again - The Washington Post

I actually pay taxes

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

Daniel Jones touts "productive spring" in learning, understanding Colts offense - NBC Sports

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

If freedom of speech is absolute, how come it's not applied for private spaces and for the Internet?

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

What are the most extreme examples of hypocrisy?

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

Rory McIlroy had three words for USGA official when asked to speak with media at US Open - Golfmagic

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I can count

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

Jason Sudeikis Remembers Uncle George Wendt as “an Incredible Influence” - The Hollywood Reporter

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I don’t cotton to rapists

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

401(k) millionaires fell in the first quarter — but it’s not all bad news - MarketWatch

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

Ford Stock Rises After Strong May Sales. The Pain Is Coming. - Barron's

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

Apple’s 16GB 15-inch M4 MacBook Air now starting from new all-time low at $188 off, more from $837 - 9to5Toys

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I have complete contempt for traitorism

What are the bitter truths of life one should know?

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I don’t buy bullshit

I can read

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I understand how hurricane paths work

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I have complete contempt for fakery

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I see through liars

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.